1988

BAND MEMBERS- FZ, Ike Willis (vocals, guitar, synth, random noises), Mike Keneally (guitar, keyboards, Johnny Cash), Scott Thunes (bass, bad vibes), Chad Wackerman (drums, looking too young for his age), Ed Mann (percussion, Dylan), Bobby Martin (vocals, keyboards), Bruce Fowler (trombone, dinosaurs), Walt Fowler (trumpet, flugel horn, synth, baseball commentary), Paul Carman (alto, soprano, baritone sax), Albert "Genghis" Wing (tenor sax), Kurt McGettrick (baritone sax, contrabass clarinet)

SPECIAL GUESTS- Moon, Dweezil, Ahmet, Diva, Zappsteetoot (Mats Öberg and Morgan Ågren), Brother A.West, Eric Buxton, Daniel Schorr, Long Island Ballet Company (Packard interpretations), Sting, Fabio Treves (harmonica), Claudia (on-stage dancing), and many others I am missing, I am sure

DATES- February 2nd to March 25th (US), April 9th to June 9th (Europe)

SHOWS- 81

CITIES- 67

COUNTRIES- 14

# OF SONGS PLAYED- I completely forgot about this until minutes before I went to post the page. Anyone?

AVERAGE SHOW LENGTH- See above

AVERAGE # OF FZ SOLOS PER SHOW- See above X 2

SONGS FZ WOULD SOLO IN- Advance Romance, Alien Orifice, America the Beautiful, Andy, Any Kind of Pain, Bamboozled By Love, Big Swifty, Black Napkins, Black Page #2, Chana in da Bushwop, Chunga's Revenge, City of Tiny Lites, Cosmik Debris, Crew Slut, Cruising for Burgers, Dessicated, Dickie's Such An Asshole, Easy Meat, Filthy Habits, Florentine Pogen, Heavy Duty Judy, Hot Plate Heaven at the Green Hotel, I Am the Walrus, Illinois Enema Bandit, Inca Roads, King Kong, Let's Move to Cleveland, Loops, Marqueson's Chicken, More Trouble Every Day, Murder By Numbers, My Guitar Wants To Kill Yer Mama, Oh No, Outside Now, Penguin in Bondage, Pick Me I'm Clean, Pound for a Brown (on the Bus), Purple Haze, Sharleena, Stairway to Heaven, Star Wars Won't Work, Stevie's Spanking, Stinkfoot, Stolen Moments, The Torture Never Stops, Truckdriver Divorce, Watermelon in Easter Hay, What's New in Baltimore?, Whippin' Post, Willie the Pimp, Zomby Woof, Zoot Allures

COMMENTS ON FZ SOLOS- Without a doubt, the main factor preventing this outing from being a Truly Great Tour is Frank's guitar playing. It just ain't all that great. Yes, Frank has his moments, but these moments are few and far between, and separated by oodles of uninspired, pedestrian solos. Two of the guitar Monsters of the past- "The Torture Never Stops" and "Inca Roads"- are the biggest disappointments of the tour. They both start the tour rather strong, showing a glimpse of some of their previous fury, but within weeks, they both settle into the lackluster stroll captured and displayed on TBBYNHIYL. Okay, so you may like those solos (I personally find them both to be nothing more than dull), but you at least must admit that they cannot compare to the "Torture" and "Inca" outings of previous tours. The same can be said for quite a number of Frank's standard guitar solo vehicles- "City of Tiny Lites", "Illinois Enema Bandit", "More Trouble Every Day", "Outside Now", and even "Watermelon in Easter Hay"- which, among others, do not contain the same passion and inspiration that their previous incarnations do. That is not to say the tour is without its highlights. For me, "Bamboozled By Love" is the surprise guitar treat of the tour, frequently containing some blistering "Owner of the Lonely Heart" fretwork. The trio of Monster Songs- "Big Swifty", "King Kong", and "Pound for a Brown"- are also some continual hot spots for Frank solos, thanks to the always changing loops that Frank throws in during each performance. The loops may not always be successful in inspiring Frank and the band, but when they work, and the rhythm section locks into a solid groove, the results are frequently breathtaking. Finally, "I Am the Walrus", of all things, is responsible for the most interesting and adventurous guitar playing of the tour, thanks to the occasional "guitar orchestra" codas that Frank tacks on to the end of the tune. Despite these highlights, the tour disappoints with regards to Frank's guitar playing. More than any other tour, Frank sounds as if he is simply going through the motions with regards to his solos, and the music obviously suffers because of it. I enjoy this tour- the arrangements, set lists, Monster performances- but it is primarily because of Frank's guitar playing that I cannot rank this as one of his all time great tours.

SONGS THAT FZ USUALLY SOLOED IN BUT DID NOT ON THIS TOUR- Dupree's Paradise (horns only; not played since '74), Eat That Question (shortened version), Montana (no solo), Packard Goose (Bartok and Stravinsky pieces in solo section), Sinister Footwear II (horns only)

NEW SONGS ON TOUR (performed for first time live)- America the Beautiful, Any Kind of Pain, Bonanza, Elvis Has Just Left The Building, I Am the Walrus, Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk, Jezebel Boy, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, Murder By Numbers, Norwegian Wood, Planet of the Baritone Women, Promiscuous, Rhymin' Man, Stolen Moments, Texas Motel Medley, Theme from the Godfather, When Irish Eyes A Smiling, When the Lie's So Big

MONSTER SONGS- Big Swifty, Black Napkins (1 time), Dessicated, Dupree's Paradise (1 time), Eric Dolphy Memorial BBQ, King Kong, Pound for a Brown (on the Bus), Stolen Moments; See Overview and Songs section below for more details on Monster Songs

SONGS ONLY PLAYED IN U.S.- America the Beautiful, Bacon Fat, Catholic Girls, Godfather, Honey Don't you Want A Man Like Me?, It Ain't Necessarily So, Jezebel Boy, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (w/ Beatles' lyrics), Murder By Numbers, Norwegian Wood (w/ Beatles' lyrics), Promiscuous, Reverend A. West, Stainless the Maiden, Stevie's Spanking, Tinseltown Rebellion, Uncle Remus, What Kind of Girl?, When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, Why Don't You Like Me?, Yo Cats

SONGS ONLY PLAYED IN EUROPE- Arrivederci Roma, Dangerous Kitchen, Dessicated, Dupree's Paradise, Easy Meat, Elvis Has Just Left The Building, Loops, Pick Me I'm Clean, Purple Haze, Ride of the Valkyries, Ring Of Fire, Rhymin' Man, Star Wars Won't Work, Take Me Out To The Ballgame, T'Mershi Duween, You Are What You Is


OVERVIEW OF US LEG- In late January of 1998, Pat Buzby announced that he was going to post a review of every 1988 show on the respective anniversaries of each show (link to his page below). To help with this awesome task, he enlisted the aid of several Zappa freaks, one of whom was me. Once I became aware of his task, and began listening to and reviewing the shows I was assigned, I figured that I would go ahead and relive the entire '88 tour, and listen to every show on its respective date. It was an intimidating task, and at times I fell way behind. But as I sit and type this (on the night of the final show- 3/25), having listened to every US tape that I have in my possession, all I could say is that I am sorry I did.

I used to love this tour. The three official releases documenting the '88 excursion all rank as some of my favorite FZ releases, and I have many live tapes from this tour which fall into the category of "listened to frequently". But after listening to almost the entire US tour, I realize that what is contained on those three official releases, and what is performed on those tapes (all but one of which is from the Europe tour), is really the cream of a not so rich crop.

The band is great, no doubts here. The five-piece horn section adds a warmth to the music that has been absence for most of the '80's, and allows Frank to do some interesting and exciting things with both his own songs and covers. The horns also add a new dimension to the Monster Songs (a dimension which, unfortunately, is not all that well exploited in the US tour). New guy Keneally proves to be as integral to this band as Vai was to the early '80's bands, wowing us all with his dual keyboard/guitar solos, and managing to fill the role (but not fill the shoes) of vocal wonder Ray White. The rest of the band, all leftovers from the '84 tour, provide the solid base upon which everything is built, with Thunes and Wackerman regaining the inspiration they misplaced during the '84 outing.

The set lists are a mixed bag, with some occasional desserts lost in the mounds of quickly-turned-stale entrees. While the saturation of Secret Words would be the saving grace of many Europe shows, the lack of lyrical mayhem, and the rather routine solos in the majority of songs, would force the US tour to more often than not rely simply on its set lists. Thus, with the oft-repeated songs, and the typically "merely competent" performances, this would be a problem. Of course, when the music gelled, the songs themselves became secondary to the actual music being played, but this was rare on this leg of the tour.

Finally, both Frank's solos (as I mention above) and the Monster songs are more often then not exercises in "going through the motions". Frank's solos are obviously Frank's fault (the rhythm section is surprisingly good throughout the tour; tight yet exploratory), but sadly, the failing of the Monster Songs seems to be his fault too. The individual solos in each performance are consistently good, but Frank has an annoying habit of pulling the plug on each solo long before it has reached its natural point of development. Thus, we get a parade of short solos which fail to add up to much simply because Frank does not have the patience to let the solos develop. As the tour progresses, the solos become longer and Frank becomes better at orchestrating such a large band through such lengthy improvisations. When all is said and done, however, one cannot help but be disappointed that something more exciting and groundbreaking did not transpire.

Obviously, part of the problem could be that I listened to 30 plus shows in just over a month and a half. That would be trying on anyone, and the chances of not enjoying something are much higher when you have been listening to the same thing over and over and over. In my defense, however, (and in defense of this tour not being that great), I will say that I have done the same thing with many other tours- overexposed myself to many, many shows- and have found myself enjoying those tours more than I enjoyed this. Take for instance the Summer/Fall '74 tour (who didn't see that one coming?). I am currently relistening to every show I have in preparation for a future page, and I have yet to become displeased with hardly any aspect of this tour. The set lists are less diverse on that outing than on this, yet still I find each concert to be much more enjoyable. The same can be said for a number of other Zappa tours.

Admittingly, the US portion of this tour is not outright bad. In fact, at its worst, the band performs highly competent yet uninspired versions of somewhat overplayed songs, with occasional improvisations helping to vary the musical landscape. If the music is boring at these times, it is simply for lack of a fire to ignite the passion in the musicians. At its best, when Frank shakes up the set lists, gives in to the need for lengthy improvisations, or has a particularly inspired night on guitar, the music transcends the songs it arrives in, and enters that realm of indescribable magic. The problem is, though, is that this transcendence does not occur all that often this time round.

OVERVIEW OF EUROPE LEG- Well, we've reached the end of the 1988 tour. It is June 9th, I have just sent my final review off to Pat, and am here reflecting on the past four plus months. I listened to WAY too many '88 shows, in WAY too short a period of time. So before I continue, if there is anybody out there looking to trade with me, do me a favor and don't pick any '88 shows. Okay?

So how was the Europe leg, you ask? Well, to begin with, much better than the US leg. Better set lists, more interesting and cohesive Monster songs, more consistent Frank guitar playing, and, above and beyond anything else, a helluva lot more laughs. But still, with all those improvements, I would not go as far to call this leg great. Yes, there are some incredible moments, and for a run of shows from around April 22nd through May 11th, it looked as if Frank and Company could do no wrong. Unfortunately, the magic would not last, and save for a trio of shows in late May (24th-26th), the rest of the Europe leg does not have much to offer. But it is a more successful run than the US run- that I will say- and for the following reasons.

To begin with, the set lists are typically much more interesting. No longer being able to rely on the English comprehension skills of the audience, Frank puts the Republican Medley tunes on a much lighter rotation, and puts some heavier hitting numbers in their place. "Dupree's Paradise", "Pick Me I'm Clean", and "Easy Meat" all make appearances, and while they may not be the Monsters they were in the past, their presence nonetheless is a welcome sight. Such guitar treats as "Let's Move to Cleveland", "Sharleena", "Cruisin' for Burgers" and the surprisingly strong "Bamboozled By Love" appear more often, and Frank manages to pull out some worthy solos in most of these spots. Unfortunately, we also get way too many "Stick My Pimp Montana" medleys this time around, and the encores are still rather predictable, but this only slightly offsets the stronger changes and additions.

The Monster songs are also consistently better this time out, though I must admit disappointment in that they are not as outrageous as I originally recalled. Frank finally allows the players to stretch out and really play, and without a doubt, these boys can play. As a result, we do not get as many solos in each Monster song, but the quality and intensity improves so the quantity issue is of no concern. Frank also allows time for more Synclavier-oriented "space" jams, in which no one is "soloing", but the whole band is working together in creating monster improvisation. These moments are what make these performances that much better, contributing to the added energy and intensity of the more straightforward solos. Again, these performances are not as outrageous and consistent as I originally thought, but on the whole, they are much better than the US endeavors.

Frank's soloing is also better on this leg. No, it is not outright great, seldom if ever reaching the glories of past tours. On a solo by solo basis, however, I would say his efforts are more interesting here than on the US leg. Most of this has to do with better guitar solo vehicles, which not only inspire him to play better, but also find the rhythm section contributing in more splendid fashion. His "Inca Roads" and "Torture" efforts are still mostly of the lackluster variety, but thanks to some fresher material, these are easily overlooked. Frank even mixes things up by inserting different vamps within the material ("13" in "More Trouble", "21" in "Marqueson's Chicken", "loops" in "Penguin"), and while these have mixed results, one can at least respect that Frank is challenging himself and the band.

Finally (yeah, you're welcome), THE SECRET WORDS!!!! The savior of the '88 tour. While things start off whether slow on this leg, once the ball gets rolling, nothing can stop it. From 4/22 on- the infamous "Ring of Fire" show- the Secret Word abuse runs rampant, and without a doubt, many of the highlights of this tour come as a result of the side-splitting laughs that such abuse produces. Dragonmasters, shellfish, jellyfish, Tom Petty, raffles, airline delays, hoops, cymbals- these are just a handful of the Secret Words that terrorize many of the shows from late April on. Interestingly enough, as the humor quotient begins to rise, so does the musical quotient, and many of the best shows musically are also the funniest shows lyrically. Go figure.

So that's it. I have this strong desire to write and write and write- go on and on and on and on (do your best Lisa Popeil imitation there)- simply because I have devoted four months of my life to this tour, and I don't want it to end. But sadly, all things must come to an end, and so must this. I feel like I have been undeservingly harsh on this tour, and am inclined to go back and soften up some of my comments. Heck, maybe even lie a little. But no. I guess I'll just come out and say that this is NOT one of Frank's best tours. Incredible band- without a doubt; some great set lists- no arguments there; but when all is said and done, it seems like there should have been a little more substance, and not as much filler.

But hey, that's just me. I could be wrong.



SONGS THAT WERE PLAYED ON BOTH LEGS OF TOUR

AIN'T GOT NO HEART - Essentially played as on "Tinseltown Rebellion", allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

ADVANCE ROMANCE - Essentially played as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. Note the horrible edit on MAJNH- from the opening horn riff to the vocal section. Very sloppy, Frank. (How many people think we actually needed another live version of this song?)

ALIEN ORIFICE - Essentially played as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

ANDY- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's too short solo. The transition from "Florentine Pogen" into this tune is one of the better moments of the '88 tour.

ANY KIND OF PAIN - Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo, Albert Wing's saxophone fills, and the random keyboard noises interspersed throughout. Also, the line following "When she's in a bold mood" changes almost nightly at the whim of Frank. While the original line (used very infrequently) is "Nuk-ya-ler", Frank frequently substitutes it for the word of his choice. This new word frequently derives from the Secret Word of the night, or then serves as the source for the Secret Word; and since this song typically comes in the early portions of each show, it usually plays a major part in the Secret Word development. This is another instance in which Frank writes a potential hit song, but then sabotages it with potentially offensive lyrics. This song had been around since December of '76, when instrumental portions of it appeared during the run of Palladium shows documented on ZINY. It disappeared for several years before reappearing during rehearsals for the Fall '81 tour, but unfortunately never made it to an official concert. Finally, it appears here and becomes one of the most performed songs of the tour.

BAMBOOZLED BY LOVE - Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. This is the "Owner of the Lonely Heart" version, and to my ears, these are some of the most interesting and passionate guitar solos of the tour. Not all that lengthy, but Frank really gets into these performances, tearing across the fret board like a madman. The 4/22 performance of this song ranks as one of my favorite selections from the whole tour, having an excellent solo and some hilarious "Ring of Fire" secret word usage.

BARTOK PIANO CONCERTO #3- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, and always performed in conjunction with the theme from "Royal March from L'Histoire du Soldat". In its actual live context, these two songs appear in the middle of "Packard Goose", after the line "Music is the best". There is no "Packard Goose" guitar solo this time round, and upon conclusion of this classical medley, the band returns to the post-solo portion of "Packard Goose".

BIG SWIFTY- After an inexcusable 14 year absence, this instrumental giant returns, and becomes one of the great monsters of the tour. It is essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in the multitude of solos. Horn solos, percussion solos, Keneally solos, random madness, a single performance of "T'Mershi Duween", and the typically (but not always) concluding Frank solo, this song returns with a vengeance, bringing with it all this and more.

BLACK NAPKINS - Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in the solos. Unfortunately, Frank chose to edit his guitar solo out of the officially released version. This is a decision I have mixed feelings about. While it would have been nice to have a complete version of this song, with all solos intact, I feel that considering the performance he chose to release, editing his solo out was a good decision. The two horn solos are almost perfect, and Frank's solo at this show really did not meet up with the now-set standards. If he had chosen a different performance, or edited in another solo, that may have worked. But judging things based on this performance alone, I think Frank- for once- made a good decision. Early in the tour (2/9), this song is given a single Monster performance, with the middle section of the tune veering off into the improvisational heaven normally reserved for the regular batch of Monster Songs.

BLACK PAGE, THE (new age version) - Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. In the context of an actual show, the opening vamp is returned to after the song proper, at which point Frank gives the band introductions and, during the US shows, his spiel about voter registration. This is the second most performed song of the tour, and only appears as a show opener.

BOBBY BROWN GOES DOWN - In the grand tradition of "Bobby Brown"'s, this song ends its brilliant career exactly the same way it started (allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, obviously). Why change a good thing, right?

BOLERO - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL (for those of you who have the complete version of the album, that is).

BONANZA- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the drum riff from "Wipe Out" serving as the song's intro. This always appears as the segue from "The Torture Never Stops Part One" to "Lonesome Cowboy Burt". {Jon Naurin sez: "Might be worth mentioning that it was occasionally played in an alternative version, with the melody played in minor the first time."]

CHANA IN DE BUSHWOP- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in the short horn solos.

CHUNGA'S REVENGE- Essentially performed as the standard "Chunga's" guitar solo vehicle. The song begins rather calmly, with the bass-prominent main theme and no abrupt guitar intro as on the studio release. Once the main theme is played through, then we get the aforementioned guitar part, which drops us off into Frank's solo. Unfortunately, the song is only performed twice on the tour- once on each leg. (And when will "Trance-Fusion" be released to right the horrible wrong made by the exclusion of not a single live performance of "Chunga's" in the official catalog? A travesty.)

CITY OF TINY LITES- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. One of the things that is sorely missing from Frank's mix of this tune is Keneallly's wicked rhythm work throughout the song. [Carlos Santana Conceptual Continuity Clue- Prior to his solo during the 2/17 performance, Frank sings the line "Got a Black Magic Woman".]

CLOSER YOU ARE, THE- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

COSMIK DEBRIS- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in the solo section. Frank has the majority of the solos for this song, but Ike occasionally gets a chance to solo in his very peculiar, inimitable sort-of-way.

CREW SLUT- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume VI, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. Kudos to Bobby for some inspired piano support.

CRUISING FOR BURGERS- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

DANCIN' FOOL- Allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, this song appears as it always appeared. A true satiric classic, unwavering in the changing tide of time, managing to stay the same despite the changes thrown at it.

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE - Not allowing bygones to be bygones, Frank resurrected this '73 scathing tribute to Watergate as part of his '88 Republican Medley. Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. [Interesting note- Pat Buzby notices in one of his '88 reviews that the band had extreme difficulty with certain parts of this tune- not just in the single reviewed performance, but in each performance he could recall.]

DISCO BOY - Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

EAT THAT QUESTION - Essentially performed as on MAJNH, which sadly is only the introduction and main theme of this long-forgotten "Grand Wazoo" classic. This song is always followed by "Black Napkins", though not vice-versa.

ERIC DOLPHY MEMORIAL BBQ - After a 15 year absence from the world of Zappa tours, this long lost classic triumphantly returns, and in glorious Monster form. Unfortunately, though, it is only performed a handful of times. It is essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in the multitude of solos. This song typically includes a percussion solo, a horn solo, a Synclavier solo, and a short drum solo. Of the five main Monster songs of the tour, this is probably the mellowest and most laid back.

FILTHY HABITS - Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

FIND HER FINER - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL. Just a word of praise here for this under-appreciated Frank song. Yes, the "Zoot Allures" version sucks (which is probably why Frank long neglected the tune), but thankfully this band had the chance to resurrect the tune and treat us to this bouncy, feel-good gem.

FLORENTINE POGEN - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. The segue into "Andy" never fails to produce chills up and down this reporter's spine.

HARRY YOU'RE A BEAST - Essentially performed as on MAJNH, and always performed as part of the Big Medley.

HEAVY DUTY JUDY - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo

HOT PLATE HEAVEN AT THE GREEN HOTEL - Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, and always performed as a companion piece to "Who Needs the Peace Corps?"

ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT - Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume VI, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. As with the '84 band, this version typically fell victim to some serious Secret Word abuse, and thus produced some of the funniest moments of tour.

I AM THE WALRUS- Yes, the Beatles classic, realized almost perfectly by the best band only some of us heard in our lives. Ike, of all people, does a brilliant job with the vocals, and the horn section aptly performs the many intricacies of the original. Occasionally throughout the tour, this song would have a Coda, which essentially consisted of Frank playing guitar and the band figuring out how to accompany him. These are frequently the guitar highlights of the tour, with the 5/9 performance standing out as possibly THE guitar moment of '88. Dweezil and Frank creating something out of nothing- a dark, densely chorded affair, quietly building but never getting louder, with Dweezil and Frank snaking their way around the rhythm section's thickly layed groove. Goo goo goo joo.

INCA ROADS - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in both Frank's and Carmen's solo. For me, this is the biggest disappointment, and the biggest surprise, of this tour. The disappointment comes with Frank's guitar solos, which are simply uninspired this time round. Frank smartly put this tune away after the monster performances of the '79 tour, and I guess he figured the '88 band could once again do this tune justice. The band does, Frank doesn't. The surprise comes with Carmen's horn solo- a wise choice by Frank to not include a keyboard solo, or to not cut the song short as he did in '79. Carmen's blowing fits in perfectly with the feel of the song, and saves us from disappointment after Frank's typically lackluster solos. Oh yeah, the rearranged ending sucks.

JESUS THINKS YOU'RE A JERK - Essentially performed as on BTHW- for the first nine shows, at least. As the song was originally written, Ike recited the "Twilight Zone" monologue (which special guest Eric Buxton recites on BTHW). Unfortunately, Ike had a hard time memorizing the monologue, and thus had to rely on a written version to prompt him. This upset Frank, who simply chose to drop the monologue after the ninth performance. Thus, from that point on, the song is essentially the same, just without the monologue (the song still retains the "Twilight Zone" musical quotes in the post-monologue vocals, which without the monologue, really do not make sense). Throughout the tour, this tune is a frequent victim of Secret Word abuse, as is evident in the BTHW version.

JOE'S GARAGE- This set-closing/encore number is essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, with the added bonus of an elongated ending, featuring the "Turn it down!/Years was rolling by" motifs.

JOHNNY DARLING- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

KEEP IT GREASY- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

KING KONG- The Monster Lives!! Terrorizing set lists from the beginning, the mother of all Monster songs concludes its glorious career with what is possibly its most impressive outing. This song and this band are simply made for each other. We get everything- horn solos, percussion solos, bass and drum madness, Synclavier excursions, random Frank orchestrations, musical chaos, lectures on dinosaurs, and, of course, some tasty Frank solos. From the damn-near perfect arrangement, to the always insane improvisations, this song best exemplifies the greatness that this band could occasionally achieve. [According to Keneally, Bruce's lecture during the 3/5 show (heard on MAJNH) was originally intended to be the first in a series of "When the Horn Players Talk" spoken pieces. Bruce did such a good job with the premiere performance, however, that no one wished to follow him. Thus, no one did. We did, however, get several segments of "When the Percussionist Talks", which featured some rather obtuse Ed Mann rantings.]

LET'S MAKE THE WATER TURN BLACK- Essentially performed as on MAJNH- the instrumental version- and always performed as part of the Big Medley.

LET'S MOVE TO CLEVELAND- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. Note that the end of the song- where the band sings "Let's Move to Cleveland"- is not present on the official release due to the real time edit into "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling".

LONESOME COWBOY BURT- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, and always appearing as part of the "Torture" medley. As both released versions from this tour show, this song is a frequent victim of Secret Word abuse.

LOUISIANA HOOKER WITH HERPES- This is Frank's rewrite of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", with the words changed to document the tale of Jimmy Swaggert and his visit with a hooker. This appears as part two of the Texas Motel Medley, with the other parts being "Norwegian Jim", a rewrite of "Norwegian Wood", and "Texas Motel", a rewrite of "Strawberry Fields Forever". For two early March performances, "What Kind of Girl?" is added after "Texas Motel".

LOVE OF MY LIFE- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation. As I've said on every page that this song appears on, I absolutely love this song in a live context. While I do not much care for it amid the greasy trappings of "Ruben and the Jets", I find that it provides the perfect contrast and relief (YCDTOSA Criteria #7) in the live chaos that is a Frank Zappa concert.

LUCILLE HAS MESSED MY MIND UP- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's tasty guitar fills. While I am on the verge of personally despising all things reggae in the Zappa canon, I find this song to be the shining exception to that rule, and find Ike to be at his best in this sordid tale of unrequited love.

LUMPY GRAVY THEME- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, and always as part of the Big Medley. The line "May you never hear vluerbedekking again" (referring back to a '71 performance of the Sofa Suite) is originally intended to be "May you never hear surf music again", which is a reference to Hendrix's "Third Stone from the Sun". This line changed frequently at the whim of Frank, with my favorite mutation being "May you never hear Dinah-Moe Humm again" (thank you, Frank).

MAKE A SEX NOISE HERE- During one US and one Europe "Pound for a Brown", Frank held Sex Noise contests, one of which is documented on YCDTOSA Volume VI. Do I need to say more?

MAN FROM UTOPIA MEETS MARY LOU, THE- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

MARQUESON'S CHICKEN- Frank has an annoying habit of writing songs, complete with excellent segues into the improvisational meat of the tune, and then rewriting those songs, and butchering up the meat, years later. Take "Marqueson's Chicken", for example. Not an outright great song, but an interesting composition worth sitting through simply for the powerful segue into the solo vamp and the solo that would follow. Unfortunately, that statement does not hold true for the '88 tour. We do not get the same vamp we get on "Them or Us", or even a vamp seemingly relating to anything in the rest of the song. Instead, when solo time arrives, "Marqueson's Chicken" stops, some new vamp starts, and Frank starts playing. Regardless of whether Frank's playing is good or not, there is absolutely no momentum taken into this segue, and the abrupt transition is unnecessarily and ineffectively jarring. Plus, it simply pisses me off that Frank does not use the excellent vamp he composed years earlier. (The actual vamp used for this tour is the "21" vamp first heard during the Fall '78 tour, and as interesting as that may be, it provides absolutely no continuity with the structured portion of the tune) [Jon Naurin reminds us that not all was lost this time out: "Note that it was played with the original vamp once, at the only US performance of the song, on 3/20. And yes, it's much better though I think it's pretty cool to hear "21" again (which should probably have worked much better within the context of a monster song)." And in the "you-can't-make-everyone-happy" department, Pat Buzby with this: "My major quibble is about Marqueson's - as I was planning on pointing out once we got to 5/24, I thought the 21 vamp was inspired, and improved what to me was one of FZ's more mundane instrumental excursions. I knew we couldn't agree about everything. :)"]

MEEK SHALL INHERIT NOTHING, THE- Essentially performed as on YAWYI, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

MONTANA- Performed as it has always been performed since time began, though sadly, like most of its earlier '80's cousins (not counting those mutants that popped up for a week in December of '84- "Montana's" from a better time and place), these performances have no guitar solos. None. Zero. Zilch. Prompting the oft repeated '80's question- Why, Frank, why? (Though considering how lackluster Frank's guitar solos are this time round, maybe for once this is a good decision).

MORE TROUBLE EVERY DAY- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo, and in the frequent Secret Word sabotage to which this tune would fall victim. For the European portion of the tune, Frank has written a new piece of music, about ten seconds in length, that serves as a segue from the 2nd chorus to the guitar solo. This segue consists of a series of ascending and then descending riffs- prominently played by the horn section- which takes us from the vocal section into a new vamp (in 13) for the guitar solo.

MR. GREEN GENES- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL. As with the transition from "Florentine Pogen" into "Andy", the transition from this into "Florentine Pogen" is oh-so perfect, and helps create one of the best 3 song pairings of the tour.

MY GUITAR WANTS TO KILL YOUR MAMA- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

NO NO CHERRY- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

NORWEGIAN JIM- This is Frank's rewrite of "Norwegian Wood", with the words changed to document the tale of Jimmy Swaggert and his visit with a hooker. This appears as part one of the Texas Motel Medley, with the other parts being "Louisiana Hooker With Herpes", a rewrite of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"", and "Texas Motel", a rewrite of "Strawberry Fields Forever". For two early March performances, "What Kind of Girl?" is added after "Texas Motel".

OH NO- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. This always appears as part of the Big Medley (except for a single performance on 5/18 when this serves as the first tune of a not-so-Big Medley).

ORANGE COUNTY LUMBER TRUCK- Essentially performed as on MAJNH. This always appears as part of the Big Medley (except for a single performance on 5/18 when this is the second song of a not so-big medley.)

OUTSIDE NOW- Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. One of Ike's continually better vocal performances, methinks.

PACKARD GOOSE- One of the puzzling "why was this not included on one of the three officially released '88 tour document?" omissions. One of the more frequently performed songs of the tour, this version of the Joe's Garage tune appears essentially as it does on the album, with one major difference- there is no guitar solo. Instead, after the line "Music is the Best", the band jumps head first into the "Royal March/Bartok" medley found on MAJNH. Then, once this surprise little treat ends, the band returns to the final verse of "Packard Goose" and finishes the song. This is one of the repeated little treats of the tour, and a good argument for why we need yet another live '88 release.

PEACHES EN REGALIA- Essentially performed as on "Tinseltown Rebellion" (the "Peaches III") version, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

PENGUIN IN BONDAGE- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in the solo, which is either taken by Frank, Mike, or Ike. For one performance in Italy, Frank inserts a loop vamp into the solo section, and solos over this vamp. Yes, it competely ruins the flow of the song, but it does inspire Frank to perform his first "Penguin" solo of the Europe leg.

PLANET OF THE BARITONE WOMEN- Essentially performed as on BTHW.

POUND FOR A BROWN (ON THE BUS)- This is the most frequently performed of the Big Three Monster Songs, and arguably the most successful of the lot. For some reason, the extended improvisations found in this instrumental classic are typically the most outrageous and intense of any given show (in fact, the majority of the improv from "When Yuppies Go To Hell" comes from this song, as does the last seven minutes of the MAJNH version of "King Kong"). We get all the typical Monster madness- horn solos, percussion solos, Keneally's patented keyboard-and-guitar-at-the-same-time solos, keyboard solos, bass and drum solos, and Frank guitar workouts. But we also get the lion's share of the sampled madness during these jams, plus a couple sex noise contests, and a couple visits from Brother A. West. After 20 plus years of lingering on the edge of full-blown greatness, this tune finally reaches maturity during this four month outing, and provides Frank's final tour with some of its greatest moments.

ROYAL MARCH FROM L'HISTOIRE DU SOLDAT- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, an always performed in conjunction with the theme from "The Bartok Piano Concerto #3". In its actual live context, these two songs appear in the middle of "Packard Goose", after the line "Music is the best". There is no "Packard Goose" guitar solo this time round, and upon conclusion of this classical medley, the band returns to the post-solo portion of "Packard Goose".

SHARLEENA- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

SINISTER FOOTWEAR II- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in the handful of horn solos scattered throughout the tune.

SOFA #1- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL. While this version is obviously intended to be a performance of "Sofa #1"- the instrumental version- Ike occasionally feels so moved by the music that he begins singing along, bringing us into the realm of "Sofa #2". Apparently, however, Ike does not know the original lyrics to the song (or else has forgotten them since '78), and usually justs inserts the Secret Word into whatever spot it can fit.

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN- The US and European portions of the tour each gives us a different version of this surprise cover tune. For the US dates, the song is essentially arranged as the original, Led Zeppelin version is arranged. Keneally begins the tune solo on guitar, playing the tune it has appeared on radio stations for the past 25 years. Eventually, Frank and the rest of the band join in, with tasty guitar licks, the arranged horn bits, and the typical drum parts. For the European dates, we get the full band reggae treatment, which is documented on TBBYNHIYL. For the entire tour, Page's guitar solo is given the hilarious arranged-for-horn treatment , with the remainder of the song performed as on TBBYNHIYL. Throughout the tour, apparently whenever Frank felt like it, he would step up, perform a tasty guitar solo, and generally put Page to shame before the horn section would proceed with its amusing solo rendition. This is the most frequently performed song of the tour, and an always satisfying way to help conclude each show.

STICK TOGETHER- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

STINKFOOT- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. While "The Black Page" is the more common of the show openers for this tour, "Stinkfoot" seems to have a much greater success with its effect on the remainder of the show. Almost every show that opens with "Stinkfoot" retains an upbeat and intensely good-natured feeling throughout the night's performance.

STOLEN MOMENTS- Unlike the BTHW version, the '88 performances of this tune are typically Monster songs. After performing the main theme, the band would typically veer off into improvisational madness, with horn solos, percussion solos, bass solos, and general madness ensuing. It is only during the Chicago 3/3 performance found on BTHW that the post-head activities are limited to one solo.

STRICTLY GENTEEL- Essentially performed as on MAJNH. The silly cartoon-like ending is taken from a 1980 "Hawaiian Punch" commercial which starred everybody's favorite Mormons, the Osmonds.

TEENAGE WIND- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

TEXAS MOTEL- This is the third song in the three song Texas Motel Medley. It is a lyrical rewrite of the Beatles' "Strawberry Fields Forever" dealing with American television evangelist Jimmy Swaggert's fun-filled hooker antics.

TEXAS MOTEL MEDLEY- This medley, inspired by the fun-filled antics of American television evangelist Jimmy Swaggert, is composed of lyrical rewordings of three Beatles songs- Norwegian Wood (becoming "Norwegian Jim"), Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (becoming "Louisiana Hooker with Herpes"), and Strawberry Fields Forever (becoming "Texas Motel"). Musically speaking, these performances are excellent recreations of the Beatles' tunes, with Frank making some inspired use of his band. Each performance is essentially the same, with the standard deviation coming in the Secret Word abuse to which these tunes frequently fell victim.

TORTURE NEVER STOPS, THE- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo, and with one unplanned, possibly the highlight-of-the-tour Walt Fowler solo. On 4/27, when Frank steps up to take his solo, ugly, out-of-tune notes fly from his fingertips. "Oh oh, I forgot to tune my guitar", declares Frank, who then commands Walt to take over while Frank fixes his problem. Then, basing his solo on the few notes Frank played, Walt confidently proceeds, producing what this reporter thinks is the most beautiful performance of the tour. Soaring. Majestic. Coloring "Torture" a whole new shade of epic. A must hear performance. Frank returns and gives us his now obligatory solo, but sadly cannot match Fowler's creation. Sadly, Frank fails to see this as a starting point for a whole new breed of "Torture's", and thus this is the only deviant "Torture" we get all tour. As on TBBYNHIYL, the song appears as two parts for the entire tour, sandwiching "Bonanza" and "Lonesome Cowboy Burt". As is obvious on the released version, this tune is highly susceptible to Secret Word abuse, and thus frequently falls victim to some pretty ridiculous lyrical mutations. This is another example of Frank's excellent use of musical quotes, with the newly arranged "Torture Part 1" containing quotes from such television shows as "I Love Lucy", "My Three Sons", "Mission: Impossible", and "The Addams Family".

TRUCKDRIVER DIVORCE- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's guitar solo. Sadly, Frank's guitar playing on this tune never meets the expectations he set up with the edited "Them or Us" version- on this tour or any other.

UNTOUCHABLES THEME- Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Ike's monologue, which is scripted, but nonetheless contains slight deviation in each performance. This tune pops up in the weirdest of places, including right before the "guitar solo" from a May performance of "Stairway to Heaven".

WATERMELON IN EASTER HAY- Essentially performed as on "Guitar", allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. I chose "Guitar" as the comparison point for this version as I personally find that performance (guitar solo wise) to be a lot less satisfying than the "Joe's Garage" version. Likewise, I find that Frank's "Watermelon" solos on this tour really do not seem to be all that inspired. The arrangement, however, is a different story, with the presence of the horn section adding some very exciting texture to the written portions of the tune.

WE'RE TURNING AGAIN- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume VI.

WHAT'S NEW IN BALTIMORE?- Essentially performed as on DHBIM, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in the occasional horn solo, and in Frank's solo.

WHEN THE LIE'S SO BIG- Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the occasional deviation coming in the "Is Everybody Stupid?" line (which on BTHW appears as "Do you believe in the Invisible Army?").

WHIPPIN' POST- Essentially performed as on DHBIM, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo, and in Dweezil's occasional guest solo.

WHO NEEDS THE PEACE CORPS?- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with its companion piece "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" always present.

WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN I PEE?- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume III, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

WILLIE THE PIMP- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV (why, Frank, why?), allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. In what may be an overt attempt to apologize for the disco desecration of this number, Frank inserts a full blown performance of the "Flight of the Valkyrie" and a half-baked performance of "Purple Haze" into the 5/26 performance of this number. This little medley occurs immediately into the solo section, and is followed by a rickety segue out of "Purple Haze" into a better than average Frank '88 "Willie the Pimp" solo, which, of course, includes that awful segue into "Montana". (All apologies to the Mighty Miss S for my critique of this tune) [Pat Buzby writes in: "Regarding the Furth Purple Haze, I don't think the solo could be considered a Willie solo - the vamp is totally different. (You may have heard or read FZ's story about having to "bail out" of the botched Purple Haze, with the result that the segue into Montana is even worse than usual.)"]

ZOMBY WOOF- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. This is another of the long lost Zappa classics, which thankfully saw the light-of-concert-day every so often in the '80's.

ZOOT ALLURES- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo.

SONGS PLAYED ON US LEG OF TOUR ONLY

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL- Of all people, who is the last person you would expect to perform a stirring, uplifting rendition of a song attesting to the glories of the United States of America? If you said Frank, then bingo. Who would have figured? Several times, to close a handful of shows at the tail end of the American tour, Frank and company whip out this soul stirring tribute to the land of the free. With Bobby reaching into the depths of his soul, and Ike's husky voice brimming with passion, this song soars to great heights. Frank, realizing the best way to express his feelings, ends the tribute with a short yet evocative guitar solo, winding his way through, around, and above the vocal gymnastics of the band, lifting the euphoric mood to even greater heights. One of the highlights of the tour, and one of the great unreleased gems in Frank's vault. Frank, you done Ray Charles proud.

BACON FAT - This is a cover tune that Frank and the Mothers occasionally performed in the late '60's. For the 2/13 performance, the song is performed with the original lyrics, with the music remaining essentially the same as that on BTHW. For all other performances, the first verse appears as on BTHW, with the unreleased second verse containing new lyrics describing a talk show appearance Frank made early in the tour. There is a possibility of there being new lyrics during the 3/1 performance (the last of the tour), but due to a horrible sounding tape, this cannot be easily confirmed.

CATHOLIC GIRLS- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume VI, with the standard deviation coming in the brief horn solos during the middle part. During rehearsals, this song was envisioned as a companion piece to "T'Mershi Duween", with TD coming in the middle part of "Catholic Girls". Hence, during the MAJNH version of "T'Mershi Duween", Ike utters the line "I am such a good boy," referring back to this song. Sadly, this pairing never appears in concert.

FIRE AND CHAINS- This guitar solo from MAJNH is from the 2/9 performance of "Pound for a Brown". The final portion of "When Yuppies Go To Hell" is from that same performance of "Pound for a Brown", and the edit from one track to the other is a real time segue.

FEW MOMENTS WITH BROTHER A. WEST, A- Two times during the US portion of the tour, Frank brings "Brother A. West" on stage to perform his evangelist routine for the crowd. The performance from TBBYNHIYL is from 2/14, and is an edited version (thank goodness) of his spiel. While it seems rather obvious that this routine was done in parody, Frank had to ask fans who apparently did not get the joke not to harm the Brother if they saw him after the show.

GODFATHER THEME - Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL. This song is performed twice, both times in conjunction with "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling".

HONEY DON'T YOU WANT A MAN LIKE ME - Exactly performed as on YCDTOSA Volume VI, as that is the only performance of this tune on tour. (As I sat and listened to the 3/23 show from which this is from, I realized that any artist who writes a song like this, and then has that song become typical, trite, commonplace in the minds of many of his fans, must truly be one far-out artist. This song gets very little respect in the hard-core FZ community (guilty as charged), which now amazes me. This is one messed up tune.)

IKE'S PERCUSSION SOLO- Exactly what it says- Ike, at the request of an audience member [Den Simms-> Where's my money?!?], playing a short little solo on his percussion stand. A one time only event, before the second set of the 2/14 show.

IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO- This song opens the 2/10 show thanks to an appearance by special guest Daniel Schorr (of NPR fame). The band vamps along with this tune during Frank's preliminary comments, setting the scene for Mr. Schorr to come on-stage and actually sing this Gershwin number.

JEZEBEL BOY- Essentially performed as on BTHW, which is a note-for-note representation of the single (thank god) performance of this tune. While the tune itself leaves a lot to be desired, the segue into this out of the "Eric Dolphy Memorial BBQ" which precedes it is quite powerful, and redeems the many shortcomings of this tune.

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS- For the first performance of this tune (2/27), the band performs the song essentially as the Beatles did, allowing for very obvious differences in instrumentation. After this premiere performance, Frank then wrote the Texas Motel Medley, using the music to this, "Norwegian Wood", and "Strawberry Fields Forever", but changing the words to document the tale of Jimmy Swaggert and his visit with a hooker. This then became "Louisiana Hooker With Herpes".

MURDER BY NUMBERS- Essentially performed as on BTHW, which sadly delivers us an edited version of this successful impromptu event. While the complete version does have a rather sloppy feel to it, it is still nice to hear what really happens during this hastily arranged number. Left on the cutting room floor by Frank- some more Ike/Mr. Sting vocal improvisations, a saxophone solo, and a good portion of Frank's guitar playing.

NORWEGIAN WOOD- For the first performance of this tune (2/27), the band performs the song essentially as the Beatles did, allowing for very obvious differences in instrumentation. After this premiere performance, Frank then wrote the Texas Motel Medley, using the music to this, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", and "Strawberry Fields Forever", but changing the words to document the tale of Jimmy Swaggert and his visit with a hooker. This then became "Norwegian Jim".

PANTY RAP- Several times throughout the US portion of the tour, Frank gives a Panty Rap. Imagine the hilarity.

PROMISCUOUS- Essentially performed as on BTHW- almost note for note, with approximately 15 seconds edited out- as this version represents the single performance of this tune (from 2/26- a good choice by Frank to not ever perform this number again, though why he ever released it is another of those great FZ mysteries).

STAINLESS THE MAIDEN- During the 3/15 show, an audience member passes a hymnal onto the stage, at which point Frank comes across "Stainless the Maiden". Frank has Robert sight-sing the hymn (not much to this, though Robert's mock-religious singing is rather amusing), with the phrase then working its way into the show as a seldom used Secret Word.

STEVIE'S SPANKING- Especially performed as on MAJNH- note for note- as this released version represents the only performance of this tune on this tour (from 3/19).

TINSELTOWN REBELLION- Essentially performed as on DHBIM, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation.

UNCLE REMUS- This is one of the many surprises of this tour, popping up three times in the US portion of the tour. The song starts off on piano as always, though the sound of Bobby's electric piano is disappointing compared to the original. The vocals are handled by several band members in unison, Frank, Ike, and possibly Bobby. The song proceeds as normal to the solo section, at which point the horn section plays FZ's album solo, like they do Page's "Stairway to Heaven" solo. After the concluding lyrics, the horn section repeats the arranged solo part, with an individual horn player soloing over the arrangement. During the entire song, neither Frank nor Ike are taking the song seriously, joking around with the lyrics, and ad-libbing a lot of Secret Word action during the instrumental parts. Nonetheless, these performances are great, and it is a treat to hear this tune arranged this way.

WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?- Essentially performed as on BTHW. This released version is a composite of the only two performances of this tune from the tour, with both performances occurring as part of the Texas Motel Medley. As it appears on this tour, it is essentially part four of the aforementioned medley. To further link it to the preceding three songs, Frank tacks on a "Louisiana Hooker with Herpes" reprise after this song, which brings the Medley to its conclusion.

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING- Essentially performed as on TBBYNHIYL. The song is performed twice, both times in conjunction with "The Theme from Godfather".

WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?- Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's end-of-song-list-of-people-not-related-to-Michael-Jackson bit. This is Stage III in the evolution of "Tell Me You Love Me". Stage I is the "Chunga's Revenge" version (which would be performed in '78 and in the early '80's), Stage II is the 1984 "Don't Be A Lawyer/Why Don't You Like Me" version, and Stage III is this. [Note: Notice the poor edit at approximately the 2:00 minute mark- Frank fails to keep a consistent beat in his editing job]

YO CATS- Frank Zappa meets Milli Vanilli. In tribute to the lip-synching wonders of the world, this band never actually performs this tune. Instead, Frank has the FZMTMOP track played over the PA system, which the band then pretended they were actually playing. Sort-of a full-blown "Putting on the Hitz", if you know what I mean.

SONGS PLAYED ON EUROPEAN LEG OF TOUR ONLY

DANGEROUS KITCHEN, THE- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume I, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation inherent in a "sprechstimme" production.

DESSICATED- This title refers to the composition which would eventually be released as "When Yuppies Go To Hell". As it is performed on tour, this mini-Monster song is composed of the main theme followed by some subdued and mostly Synclavier oriented improvisation. For the official release, Frank pieced together several performances- including a rehearsal performance- in order to complete the head, and then used improvisational sections from various "Pound for a Browns" to help round out the extended jam. This song only appears three times during the tour (with two of them arising out of "Pound for a Brown" jams) , and never really gains the musical confidence that comes across in the pieced together MAJNH version. The most successful of the three performances is probably the 4/14 version, one of the "Pound for a Brown" endeavors. Thanks to its placement in the middle of the other Monster song, the hesitancy of the performance does not detract from the music, and effectively gives "Dessicated" the feeling of being a natural extension of "Pound for a Brown".

DUPREE'S PARADISE - After yet another inexcusable 14 year absence, this Monster Song of the early '70's returns to the wonderful world of live Zappa. Sadly, however, the MAJNH version of this instrumental terror is not representative of the manner in which this song is performed for the majority of the tour. In the typical '88 "Dupree's Paradise" performance, the song consists of the head (as it appears on MAJNH), a solo section consisting of two horn solos, and then the return to the main theme. It is only during the officially represented Stuttgart performance that this pattern is deviated from. For that performance, we get the single Monster performance of this tune, and are allowed a brief glimpse into the musical power that this tune conveyed 14 years earlier. We get the typical horn solo to start things off, but once this is complete, Frank the Conductor takes over, and we are off into random improv land, including the excellent "loops" jam found on MAJNH. Without a doubt, this 5/24 performance is the '88 "Dupree's Paradise" highlight. The other performances are worth hearing, but since they only contain the two somewhat tame horn solos, they are slightly disappointing (heck, to this Fall '74 fan, they are VERY disappointing).

EASY MEAT- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume v, allowing for obvious differences in instrumentation, and with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo. This tune sounds excellent with the full horn section, especially the pre-solo classical part. Frank, unfortunately, never produces anything all that worth hearing during his handful of solos.

ELVIS HAS JUST LEFT THE BUILDING- Essentially performed as on BTHW. This song premiered during the European portion of the tour, and seemed to arise as a result of Keneally's excellent Johnny Cash performance of "Ring of Fire".

FLIGHT OF THE VALKYRIE- This song pops up during the "Willie the Pimp" from 5/26. During this performance, the band immediately segues into "Flight of the Valkyries" upon completion of the vocals, instead of going into the typical guitar solo. After performing the main theme of this piece, they then segue into a somewhat hesitant version of "Purple Haze" similar to the sound check performance found on TBBYNHIYL. This, finally, leads us into an above-average-for-the-'80's "Willie the Pimp" guitar solo, with the cumulative effect being the best version of this song since it was first desecrated by the 1984 band.

LOOPS- Prior to each show, Frank would program a short guitar loop with his digital delay equipment, and ready that loop to be used at any given moment during each show. Throughout the tour, these loops are used as the basis for the Frank guitar solos that would frequently conclude the Monster Songs, and are also occasionally used as texture for the improvisational activities of these songs. During the European portion of the tune, Frank begins using the loops as songs in themselves. After concluding a given song, Frank would start up a loop, solo over the loop, and upon completion of the solo, head off into another song.

PICK ME I'M CLEAN- As Frank starts to slightly mix things up in the waning days of the European tour, he resurrects this long-ignored classic and shows it the light of day for the first time since 1980. It is essentially performed as on "Tinseltown Rebellion", with a minor difference in that Frank threw one of the early '80 "ballad" sections into the arrangement. Unfortunately, he fails to relive the guitar glories of the song's earlier tour of duty, leaving us with some rather bland solos. Yes, the song is nice to hear, but does not instill the fear into our hearts like it did four tours earlier.

PURPLE HAZE- This song is only performed once during the tour, and it is not the performance captured on TBBYNHIYL. That performance is from a sound check, and is a more confident performance than the 5/26 "in-front-of-an-audience" version. Despite its somewhat clumsy nature, however, the 5/26 performance is great because it comes in the midst of an unusual, much better than normal "Willie the Pimp". During this show's performance of the "Hot Rats" classic, the band segues into "Flight of the Valkyrie" immediately upon entering what should be the guitar solo section. Following this brief Wagner quote, the band then finds itself in the midst of "Purple Haze", and manages to work its way through a rather sloppy performance of the tune. The arrangement is essentially the same as that Best Band version, but the results are not as good. Finally, to end this mini-Monster performance of "Willie the Pimp", Frank takes a better-than-average guitar solo, and the show continues.

RHYMIN' MAN- Essentially performed as on BTHW. This song is essentially a showcase for two things- Mike Keneally's Johnny Cash impersonation (the song was written and premiered days after the 4/22 "Ring of Fire" show), and Frank's excellent use of parody through musical quotes. While I have never taken the time to compare tape versions with the official version, the musical quotes used during this song are plenty, and include: Chopin, Mission Impossible, Mississippi Mud, The Untouchables, Happy Days Are Here Again, Entry of the Gladiators, Hava Nagila, Hail to the Chief, La Cucaracha, Frere Jacques, My Sharona, and Hallelujah I'm A Bum. I am assuming that each version contains these same quotes (in this order), but I have never taken the time to find out for sure. Anyone out there know?

RING OF FIRE- Amazingly enough, this song is actually performed four times on this tour, with three of them occurring during that out-of-control 4/22 show. The "Best Band" version is the first performance of the tune, with two more coming during the quite lengthy encores. The fourth and final performance comes over a month later during the 5/25 show.

STAR WARS WON'T WORK- Essentially performed as on MAJNH, with minor edits occurring prior and following the solo. This solo/impromptu jam occurs as a sort-of coda to the 5/24 performance of "Stairway to Heaven" (or "Stairway to Star Wars" as that version is more aptly called). Upon completion of "Stairway to Heaven", Frank starts the predetermined guitar loop, and proceeds to make up the song's lyrics based on this loop. [Notice the presence of the loop in the MAJNH version of "Dupree's Paradise", which is also from the 5/24 show].

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME- Essentially performed as on YCDTOSA Volume IV- note for note- as this released version represents this single improvised event, extracted from the tale end of a "Pound for a Brown". The segue into "Filthy Habits" is left intact from the actual performance.

T'MERSHI DUWEEN- Essentially performed as on MAJNH. During rehearsals, this song was envisioned as a companion piece to "Catholic Girls", with TD coming in the middle part of "Catholic Girls". Hence, during the MAJNH version of "T'Mershi Duween", Ike utters the line "I am such a good boy," referring back to a not-performed "Catholic Girls". Sadly, this pairing never appeared in a concert. On 5/1, during a mammoth "Big Swifty", the European duo Zappistitoot- comprised of Mats Öberg and Morgan Ågren, on keyboards and drums, respectively- perform a skeletal but accomplished version of "T'Mershi Duween".

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS- As far as I am concerned, the only reason for listening to this song is to work your way through the repetitive first half in order to indulge in Ray White's end-of-the-song theatrics. Take away the second half vocal dynamics, and you are left with a thirty second song that goes on way too long. Obviously, there is no Ray White this time around, nor is there anything or anyone in his place. Just this blank, empty space. And it kinda sucks. To make matters worse, this song typically follows "City of Tiny Lites" (a la the '84 tour) making us curse the absence of "Pound for a Brown". You are a big disappointment, that is what you is.


Back to TOURING PAGE
To PAT BUZBY'S excellent '88 Tour Document

-which includes complete set lists and reviews of all shows


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