In "Room Service", FZ orders one green hocker, two crystal eyes, and one crystal kidney. Napoleon Murphy Brock promises to have them delivered by someone very fast. When the first waiter fails to show up, Napoleon promises to send them by someone even faster. The waiters named were usually members of the Mothers' touring crew.
| Zach Zach Zach Glickman | DiscReet partner | 8/74 KCET (first waiter) 11/1/74 Landover (first waiter) |
| Herb Herb Herb Cohen and/or J. J. B. Cohen | manager and DiscReet partner | 8/74 KCET (second waiter) 9/8/74 Bologna (first waiter) 9/11/74 (late) Vienna (first waiter) |
| Mort Mort Mort Libov | television producer | 8/74 KCET (third waiter) |
| Marty Marty Marty Perellis | road manager | 9/8/74 Bologna (second waiter) 9/9/74 Milan (second waiter) 9/16/74 Hamburg (second waiter) 9/20/74 Copenhagen (first waiter) 9/22/74 Helsinki (second waiter) |
| Dick Dick Dick Barber | road manager | 9/9/74 Milan (first waiter) 9/16/74 Hamburg (first waiter) |
| Ruth Ruth Ruth Krokus | Mothers percussionist not actually married to soundman Brian Krokus | 9/11/74 (late) Vienna (second waiter) 12/31/74 Long Beach (second waiter) |
| K K K Kansas | roadie | 9/20/74 Copenhagen (second waiter) 9/22/74 Helsinki (first waiter) |
| Bill Bill Bill Romero | truck driver | 9/29/74 Brussels (first waiter) 12/31/74 Long Beach (first waiter) |
| Irv Irv Irv Irving | Urban Gwerder, Swiss fan and zine publisher | 10/1/74 (late) Basel (first waiter) |
| Irving Irving Irving Junior | Urban Gwerder's son | 10/1/74 (late) Basel (second waiter) |
| Dick Dick Dick Nixon | former President of the United States | 10/31/74 (late) New York (first waiter) |
| Bruce Bruce Bruce Fowler | former Mothers trombone player, sitting in that night | 10/31/74 (late) New York (second waiter) |
| Jack Jack Jack Smothers and/or John John John Smothers | bodyguard | 11/1/74 Landover (second waiter) |
| Bill Bill Bill Moody | light man whose first name Napoleon got wrong | 11/17/74 Philadelphia (first waiter) |
| U U U Unity | light man | 11/17/74 Philadelphia (second waiter) |
Thanks to Dan Buxbaum and Milhouse Guidry.