According to several on-line collections of quotations, Frank Zappa said, "If we were the Monkees, we'd be ready by now."
This quotation is inaccurate. What he actually said was, "If the Monkees were doing this show, they'd already be tuned up."
He said this at a concert in Uddel, Netherlands, on June 18, 1970. The concert was broadcast on VPRO television. FZ's comment appeared on the bootleg At The Circus, which was re-released officially as part of Beat The Boots #2 (Foo-Eee Records R2 71020, 1992).